ARE SWINGERS CLUBS THE KEY TO SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE?

 Swinging is still a controversial phenomenon which most monogamous couples still see with scepticism. If my relationship is going in the right direction, if my marriage is based on love, understanding and sexual chemistry, why would there be a need to look elsewhere?

What is this perverted idea to have a new sexual partner and maybe even worse, be aware that my significant other does the same? Why does he/she even suggest this to me, is it maybe a way to tell me they need something else? A step towards a break-up, similar to asking for a break?

Faced with the perspective of swinging, couples may encounter these dilemmas. A lot of people who are contemplating the idea, are too afraid to put it on the marriage table trying to avoid hurting the feelings of their partners.

Beyond the misconceptions, sex experts and relationship psychologists do present encouraging evidence in favour of swinging. More and more testimonials of couples who tried it and came out of it stronger, happier and even with a better monogamous sexual life are all over the Internet. They argue not only that swinging is not dangerous for a marriage, but what is more, that it might be the very thing that consolidates a relationship, develops the trust between the couple and ensures a healthy long-term sex life.
WHAT IS SWINGING?
What is swinging?

Swinging is a sexual practice which opens up the relationship to people from outside. Also known as partner swapping, the most common way of approaching swinging is when two couples switch partners. But also, under the swinging umbrella is when a couple seeks another single person or two singles.

There are different ways of getting involved in this activity:

Soft swap – involves flirting and all the sexual activities normally done during foreplay: touching, kissing, fingering. You may even go all the way towards an orgasm, but this should not involve intercourse;

Hard swap – any sexual interaction including intercourse;

Open swinging – couples switch partners and then indulge in sexual activities in the same room (group sex is an option, but not a must);

Closed swinging – the sexual act between the newly formed pair occurs behind closed doors.

Swinging is not cheating, as it is a couple's activity, done by rules previously agreed upon and sometimes even in the same room with your significant other. Also, swinging is different from polyamory which involves emotional bonds between the multiple partners, including the possibility of loving more than one person. If you swing, the connections are sexually based (this doesn't exclude the possibility of friendship) and the focus is placed on couples. Swinging is made between stable couples (or initiated by such a couple) and not between individuals.

SWINGER CLUBS VS SWINGER WEBSITES
Swinger clubs

You decided to give swinging a try and now you are in the phase of looking for that couple with whom you will switch partners and have an amazing sexual encounter. If you haven't already got someone in mind, like a couple whom are friends and that you already know are kinky, there are only two main choices that remain – dating websites specialized for swinging and swinging clubs.

Swinger websites may feel safer since you will not meet or even see more than the persons you select, but they are also more time-consuming. Sometimes you will have long conversations with couples with whom nothing will happen for various reasons. Swinger clubs on the other hand offer you the possibility to go for a night out, to a party… with a twist.

Since there is a big chance you are reading this article because you are playing with the idea of going to such a party for the first time, here is some information that will help you out.

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE GOING TO A SWINGER CLUB
Swinger clubs

Before going to a party held by a swinger club you need to take some steps. Most of these adult clubs are based on membership. In this regard, they inhibit the idea of spontaneously engaging in a swinging activity. You can't decide at 8pm you are ready to give it a try and be at the club at 9pm. There are always some verification procedures, made in order to ensure the safety and privacy of the swingers. Also, usually there is a fee you will need to pay in order to gain access.

Carefully read the rules and recommendations of the club. All clubs will have strict rules in what concerns consent and privacy. This means you will need to respect when somebody refuses any physical interaction with you and that you are not allowed to take pictures or videos with anything inside. Beyond this, some clubs deny the very presence of smartphones on their premises or impose a dress code.

Swinger clubs are regular clubs, with a bar, a dance floor and spaces to socialize. Beyond this, they will have also some more private spaces, where you can get intimate. Some of them could also provide fetish-themed areas, if you want your experience to get spicier. Keep in mind that it is not appropriate to enter the private spaces without being invited.

You may find comfort in the idea that going to a swinging party doesn't force you to have sex with anybody there. You can choose your compatible couple and you may also leave the party without anything physical taking place. Also bear in mind that you could be refused, so try not to take it personally!

It is a good idea to give some time to explore and socialize. Don't rush into having sex with the first couple you meet, even if you have a decent amount of chemistry. Since you decided to try it, why not get the most from it?

A similar kind of advice would be to give people time to accommodate with you. Like single individuals, most couples will enjoy flirting before anything else.

All you need to know before going to a Swingers Club

It is a good idea to agree on a signal with your partner, or maybe even multiple signals. This way you will easily know what the other feels without the risk of creating an awkward situation.

Stating the obvious, in order to have a successful experience you must communicate your intentions efficiently.

Alcohol is allowed and it might help to get you a little bit more relaxed. But overdoing with it is never a good idea. To a swinging club, this applies maybe more than usually.

If you are new to this or even a first timer, a useful tip would be to arrive there early. This way you will have time to get used to the place and more possibilities to connect with people. Going in the middle of the event might become intimidating.

Lastly, be prepared to be disappointed. Like anything charged with high expectations, it might turn out to be far from what you imagined.

SWINGING AND MARRIAGE GO TOGETHER LIKE A HORSE AND CARRIAGE
marriage sex

Some people argue that swinging saved their marriage, while others would say it was the end of it. But if you are both open to the idea and you make sure you communicate enough before taking the step of going into a club, things might get better and hotter inside your own marriage. Here are some of the benefits mentioned by people who tried it:

It is natural to feel the need of a change. Swinging brings diversity to one's sex life without cheating.

You certainly chose your wife for good reasons. But since she is the only one, you might forget how special she is. Switching partners will remind you why from all the women in the world she was the chosen one.

You are both indulging in a common activity which is still seen as taboo by most of the people. This will give you a sense of complicity.

Before entering the swinger club, one of you first suggested it to the other. This always requires a lot of courage and honesty. The degree of trust in your marriage will normally raise after this big step. If you talked about opening up your sex life, you will talk about pretty much everything.

Switching partners with other couples may lead to life-long friendships. Not everybody is into it, but if you are, you will find like-minded people.

It may be exactly the thing you need if you face a middle age crisis.

Swinging can be fun, sexually fulfilling and a great tool to fight against the routine, but it is not a magical trick you can use anytime or with anybody. Certainly, it is not something which will save a failed marriage or the single step you need to take to replace an emotional absence. Otherwise, a visit to a swinger club might be the weekend activity which will charge you with positive energy for the whole week to follow.

• Carol J. Robertson
• https://www.iconicman.com