8 Very Necessary Sex Tips From Sex Workers

1. You can never have enough lube. "There's this myth that lube is some kind of crutch to lean on; that if you need it during sex, you're not doing it right. That's totally false. Everyone can benefit from lube. It reduces friction during sex, and while some friction can be pleasurable, too much can lead to the equivalent of rug burn inside your body. Because porn performers are usually having penetrative sex off-and-on for hours at a time, we're encouraged to use lots of lube to avoid friction-related injuries and keep things feeling good the whole way through. These days I go through lube bottles in my bedroom like candy." —Andre Shakti, porn performer and producer

2. Everyone has some kind of sex insecurity. (And yes, you are normal.) "Sex work taught me that everyone has insecurities and shame wrapped up in their desires. My most frequently asked questions from admirers and clients are variations of 'Is this weird?' or 'Is it OK that this turns me on?' Most of the so-called 'weird' stuff is actually pretty normal." —Ingrid Mouth, porn performer and illustrator

3. Sex is better when you set firm boundaries. "Sex work taught me that boundaries are not only OK to have but vital for a quality sexual experience. I learned to trust my gut feeling about people and situations, and to be firm about my boundaries. Learning how to say a clear and direct no (and a clear and direct yes) to clients helped me feel more confident doing it in my personal life, and my sex life has been worlds better since I've been upfront about my boundaries." —Kitty Stryker, adult performer and producer



4. Female ejaculation can help prevent urinary tract infections. 

"I used to get UTIs every time I had sex. I tried everything to avoid them — unsweetened cranberry juice, cranberry tablets, peeing before and after sex, extra hygiene, antibiotics, probiotics, naturopathic herbs, cutting out sugar. I had ultrasounds and doctors just told me I was prone to infection. It wasn't until I started ejaculating regularly that my UTIs miraculously disappeared. It turns out there is some evidence that ejaculate may have anti-UTI properties and now I no longer need to carry sachets of Ural in my purse."
 —Zahra Stardust, Feminist Porn Award Heartthrob of the Year 2014



5. Sometimes intimacy can be sexier than sex. 
"I perform sensual massage, and it's taught me the power that simple forms of attention hold. Making direct eye contact, for example, or engaging in heartfelt embraces. I have had men cry like babies because I created a soft and receptive space for them to feel like they were heard and that their existence mattered. Sometimes just being acknowledged and creating that bridge of connection through physical contact is more powerful than any orgasm." —Kelly Lynn Prime, sensual healing practitioner



6. Role-play can reignite your sex life completely. "I frequently perform sexual acts for work, but I've learned that sex can be performative in my private life too without being cheesy, corny, or feeling fake. It can be really hot and fun to play a role despite whether you actually ever turn on a camera or not. I can put on makeup just to feel extra glamorous, no special occasion necessary." —Cinnamon Maxine, adult entertainer

7. There's nothing sexier than knowing your own body. "The first thing any ethical porn director wants to know is what you're into. If your answer is something like, 'Uh, I don't know, let me think about it,' you have a problem: You don't know your own body well enough. Masturbating frequently, honestly communicating what you like and don't like to your partner(s) and experimenting with new techniques is a surefire way to get body-literate. By trade, porn performers know their bodies as intimately as professional athletes, and that's super sexy." —Andre Shakti

8. Dirty talk is good for you. "The most important thing is letting your partner know what you enjoy. People aren't mind readers, and even experienced sex workers can have trouble sussing out a client's wants or kinks via trial and error. Dirty talk is a great way to communicate — and sexting lets you frankly communicate what you want with the added bonus of not having to make direct eye contact while doing so." —Selina Kyle, webcam model

SOURCE: Cosmopolitan.com / Andre Shakti