When swingers are not on the same page

 When swingers are not on the same page, it could be a recipe for disaster.

At some point in time, every swinger couple is new to the lifestyle. What happens when one of the couple is ready to go and the other is only ready to test the waters? Communication is always the most important way to ensure success not only in the lifestyle but in any relationship.Prior to entering the lifestyle it would seem natural for couples to discuss what they are looking for and what they are hoping to get out of it. It is especially important for both people to be honest and open about what they will be comfortable with.

Swinging should be a step by step process for new couples. Couples who have the most success in the lifestyle are usually the ones who take it slow. Although the whole environment might seem incredibly exciting when you are new, if you jump in too quickly, this could lead to disaster. This is especially true if a couple is not on the same page. If one partner says they are shy and unsure about the whole process, it might not be a good idea to throw your clothes off at the first opportunity and declare you are ready for a gang bang.

It is very important to be sure you are on the same page prior to entering a swing club or attending a private party. Set rules and boundaries so there is no question that both people know what is expected of them. If you have a "no kissing" policy then make sure you both agree and adhere to this. If you only plan to go and watch, then do just that. Do not let alcohol dictate your behavior and then use it as an excuse for your actions.

Honesty is very important to couples in the lifestyle. They are allowing others to share very intimate moments with them and deserve the truth about who they are playing with. It is crucial to be upfront about your intentions as a couple. When one part of the couple is making a play for someone behind their partner's back that is dishonest. If you are going to touch someone or communicate with someone, do it in front of your partner. If you wait for your partner to turn their back so you can touch or kiss someone, that is a very bad sign.

​JC Edit: This is a great article and gives a lot of advice. One thing I will add with my experience, end the night with the same set of rules you start the night with. You will always have more opportunities to change the rules at a later date if you both have discussed it and agreed to it. Always communicate before the event, during the event and after the event. Communicating after the event is when you can discuss rule changes. Also seek out guidance at the many seminars offered at every event like Couples Cruise, Naughtty N LA and Naughty N New Orleans.

For everyone's enjoyment remember this," The Lifestyle is a luxury NOT a necessity."

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